2/19/24
Carter Dubberley
Petoskey, Michigan
With my first blog post on the new site I’d like to detail some things that God has been recently speaking to me. For the last couple of months one idea that has taken a toll on my heart has been the idea of Jesus as a warrior. Not just this happy go lucky marshmallow kind of man. Many meetings and time spent with those close to me have affirmed my need to understand this sometimes distant topic. As most of you know, I have gotten a wonderful opportunity to leave town, relax and try to find my peace within the word of our Lord. Many asked me what my main reason for going was, and I sometimes struggled to find the words. My answers often consisted of, “well I am going so I can lean into the idea that Jesus is a warrior, not just a shepherd”. Or, more correctly answering with “I just want to be more like Christ, and I feel like I need space to learn how”. While I took this very masculine approach on Jesus into my travels, I found myself struggling with thinking I had more to offer those around me than anyone else. No one could offer me anything, and to be quite frank I am the one that has it all figured out. Or so I think. Well if you can believe it, little 20 year old me isn’t even close to having everything figured out. Crazy right? The tough persona I displayed within my first week was shot down by multiple convictions that I brought with me from Sheridan. Turns out no matter where you go the baggage of sin is brought with you. Courtesy of Adam and Eve. During these moments of strong conviction, I began to feel myself become lower and lower. But why? I came out to Michigan to find myself, right? I shouldn’t be feeling upset or dismayed. Didn’t I leave so I could create a different life for myself, in a place where no one knows my name? “God’s presence is glorious,” I thought, “this sure isn’t it”. If it were only that simple. As I began to bring these things to the lord, I started to understand God’s desire for a broken vessel. In my selfishness God rolled his eyes and pushed me off the table. Breaking me into a million pieces. Jesus is the embodiment of the highest power. He has the ability to destroy every man! Yet He doesn’t. Despite everything brought against him. To me, this is a warrior. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for fighting for me, even when I thought I had it figured out. Thank you for your MERCY. Having the power and knowledge to kill, yet showing mercy is something we should all strive towards. Something else also sets him apart from every other God humans have selfishly created. While I write this, I’m witnessing that He has no desire to leave me, or you, on that sinful floor. That my friends is why He is WORTHY of our praise.
I found myself sleeping in a bit this past week, even though I vowed to get up at 5:30 every morning to press into His word. I would be lying if I didn’t admit the last few months have been tiring. For both my body and my soul. Trying to better yourself is not a task for the feeble minded, and many times I wanted to quit and revert back to my old ways. Coming to Michigan with no responsibilities or expectations took the pressure off of me. Before this time I didn’t think it was possible to better my soul and rest at the same time. However, God has also revealed to me that the only true rest comes from within him. Being in constant communication with the Lord since this realization has revealed many things to me AND still given me the ability to rest. Chances are if you have heard me speak on God you have heard me give my spiel on giving your troubles and triumphs to the lord. Including experiences and time spent doing things. While I’ve had incredible encounters with God by giving him different things, I was not expecting a need to have those words shoved back down my throat. While out here I haven’t been able to do many of the things I love to do. Yet I’ve still found Him in the little things I never expected. Sweeping the kitchen, watching TV, and yes Chandler, even doing the dishes. Never would I have expected God to reveal the immense beauty of fellowship and connection through a secular TV show. But, “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you,” (Matthew. 7:7, NLT). He has the power to reveal himself through anything. It makes me wonder with what things in life can we seek Jesus’ presence more intentionally? What minuscule thing can you give to the lord and watch him go to work? Speaking on the lord’s behalf makes me extremely nervous. But as I gave him this post, nothing within me was concerned as to if these concepts are not spiritually sound. Something that is beyond my realm of control.
Thank you Jesus.
To think all of this came within the span of one week is mind boggling! If you made it this far, thank you for your time. I’m not sure how many of these I will do, but my prayer is that this will speak to someone in a similar place!
-Carter Dubberley